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Will Marriage Change Us?

Today we celebrate our ninth anniversary – with the knowledge that we’ll be married by our tenth. I had imagined that it would make the day feel different…more significant perhaps? But it doesn’t. I feel the same way I have for years; I’ve checked with Ads and he does too…we feel happy, settled and blessed…which begs the question; will marriage change us?

We’ve spent years tackling questions about whether we’ll marry, the assumption that Adam was the one digging his heels…perhaps even holding out for ‘something better’. Every Birthday, Xmas, Anniversary I learnt to expect the quizzing from family as to whether I’d received a proposal…I even heard a couple of ‘hang in there’s’ from friends!

At times we’ve found ourselves playing up to their assumptions…with Adam faking a throbbing vain in his forehead at the mere talk of weddings, whilst I berate him about his ‘lack of comittment’ !

And when announcing our engagement, we were unanimously met with cries of “about time too”, which was to be expected; but I was surprised and slightly hurt by how many family members and friends now referred to us as ‘a proper couple’; I was even asked if it felt nice to now know that our relationship ‘had direction’!

I don’t doubt that there is a shift in your relationship once you’re married; I for one, can’t wait to be ‘Mrs C’…but the foundations of a damn successful partnership were laid many years ago.  We’ve been through plenty of ‘richer’ and ‘poorer’ moments, there has been bouts of sickness amongst the health and we would have laid down our lives for each other, many times over…if it had been called for.

With wails of ‘Waity Katy’ dominating the headlines, it seems suprising that in this day and age, there is still a stigma attached to those who choose to wait for marriage and even more out-cry over those who choose to make a marriage without the ‘official’ ceremony…

Believe me, I am a huge advocate of marriage and very proud to be entering into one. I have also had years to think about why it is important to us as a couple; so for all the doubters, the cynics…and even the nosy-parker’s – we are not getting married to validate our relationship…we are getting married to celebrate it.

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  • Emma October 26, 2010, 11:26 am

    You’re spot on when you say “we are not getting married to validate our relationship…we are getting married to celebrate it” – we got married after being together for six years, and that’s exactly how we felt. Great post!

  • Sarah October 26, 2010, 11:37 am

    Thanks Emma! Love your site btw…going to be coming to you for some advice soon!