Were it not for getting spliced two years ago last month my Hubby and I would be celebrating our ‘old’ anniversary this week, the one that marks our first date…12 years ago on October 19th. Gosh I was a mere 19 years old then! Thinking about that special night, in a tacky pub in East London where it all began I have a lot to be grateful for…I met and fell in love with my best friend, the father of my beautiful child. It all sounds so perfect…
…But believe me it aint! Marriage is in fact bloody hard work. And sometimes it’s monotonous too. It takes a lot of work and commitment to ensure you’re falling in love with your spouse every single day – but unless you do – unless you make sure that you are in the words of Audrey Hepburn “very married” cracks begin to show – and once that rot has set in, you’ve a lot more work to do than if you consistently maintain things!
I have more than my share of imperfect wife moments. I’m grumpy all the time due to lack of sleep and I’m very good at “shutting down” when upset due to hating confrontation. My Hubby, well he can be quite ‘cave-man’, sometimes treating me like the ‘little-woman’ and is such a planner he forgets to enjoy the here and now – which is oh so precious now we’re parents. BUT our imperfections have always been part of the deal so love him and loathe them, we sometimes have to simply swallow what annoys us about each other and instead embrace the warts and all.
So for all you soon-to-be or newlyweds – here’s my tips for a
happy normal marriage. Oh and darling husband, I hope you’re taking notes…
♥ Make time for each other. Modern life is so busy and with work being constantly at our fingertips (we are all guilty of being welded to our smart phones I’m sure) and busy social lives it’s quite easy to go almost a full week without spending time as a couple, which is odd as your husband/wife is the person you’ve chosen to share your entire life with!
♥ Contradicting the above…(who know marriage would be full of contradictions eh?) have some separate interests. There’s nothing better than coming home after a night with the girls at
wine book club and filling my Mr in on all the gossip. And nothing makes my ears bleed more than if it’s been a dull week and we end up talking shop all night.
♥ Don’t get too comfortable. There’s only so much slobbing around we can handle before we start to resemble Wayne & Waynetta…sweat pants are acceptable in our home but socks with holes, pants with lose elastic and too many dinners in front of the TV we’re heading for trouble. It’s just not sexy.
♥ And whilst we’re on the subject of s-e-x (don’t worry I won’t be giving you too much insight into our boho bonks!) how’s about gents, you stop expecting your wives to undress themselves and to simply be revved up and ready to go at a moments notice. One word husbands, ROMANCE. It’s not like back in your old single days you would spend an evening mute, in front of the telly and some bird would just come along, drop her knickers and pounce on you!!!
♥ Choose your battles. Say’s it all really.
♥ Flirt. There’s nothing better than having a night out together enjoying each other as if you’ve only just met. We’ve just re-instated date night and initially all the chat was about either our son or general life. We still invariably chat about those things but also now reminisce about past experiences together and ask each other questions…I only recently found out that my hubster harbours a secret ambition to travel Japan – I had no idea he loved the culture so much!
♥ If in doubt always err on the side of comedy. Laugh. And then laugh some more.
Well that’s what I’ve come up with but I’m sure there’s plenty more…so I’d love to hear some of your top marriage tips too.
And if you are set to get wed soon, don’t be disheartened by this – marriage is absolutely like being one half of the ultimate team – but to be part of a winning side takes dedication, commitment, training and hard work as far as I’m concerned!
Love Sarah xx
Image via Milou & Olin